A RangeMan Christmas
by RangerCraving
Summary: When boredom sets in at RangeMan, the Merry Men get into mischief.
1. Chapter 1

**A RangeMan Christmas**

By

**RangerCraving**

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I just borrowed them for some Christmas cheer._

_A/N: Thank you, Stayce, for your encouragement, your editing, and your wonderfully twisted sense of humor. You're the best Babe! _

_Warning: Keep in mind the characters in this short are men. Therefore, there is profanity and somewhat…hmmm…crude content/behavior ahead!_

_This is a little something I wrote for BCRUS. I just thought I'd share._

**Christmas Eve at RangeMan**

"Deck the Halls is not the greatest Christmas song ever. Deck the Halls is a stupid ass song." Bobby Brown and Lester Santos were sitting in their cubbies. It was Christmas Eve, and in order to keep the men from fighting over who got the holiday off, each RangeMan employee was scheduled to work a shift. Unfortunately, just like every Christmas Eve, there was nothing going on. Boredom was the norm, and the quiet had become too much for the Merry Men of RangeMan LLC.

"It is not a stupid song, Bobby. It's a happy song. " Lester's voice was filled with insult.

"It's a gay song."

"Deck the Halls is **not** a gay song! How can you say that? I think that's blasphemous. You better go to mass tonight."

"Hey, I just call 'em as I hear 'em. _'Don we now our __**gay**__ apparel.'_"

"That's **gay** as in _**happy,**_ Dumb-ass."

"Bullshit. If they meant _**happy**_, they would have said _**happy**_. But they didn't, did they? No, they said _**gay**_."

"You are dumber than a brick."

"You're just pissed because I'm right." Bobby was grinning as he broke into song. "Deck my balls with lots of honeys." He reached down and grabbed his crotch. "Fa la la la la, la la la la."

"Fuck you. You're a pig. Anyway, it's better than your favorite Christmas song. Please!" At Lester's snort, Bobby leaned forward in his chair.

"Hey, Jingle Bell Rock rocks! That is one catchy-ass tune."

"Man, you are such a loser. And talk about gay songs. Have you ever listened to the words? Huh? Huh, smart guy? Have you?" Without giving Bobby a chance to answer, Lester began singing in a high-pitched voice:

_"You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear, voices singing let's be jolly…"_ Now Lester stopped and cleared his voice pointedly before continuing. _"…__**Deck the Halls**__ with boughs of holly."_ Bobby's face was turning red, but Lester wasn't done yet. He got up and started wiggling his hips and swaying side to side. He lifted his arms and was flipping his hands around, wrists limp.

_"Everyone's dancing merrily, in the new old fashioned way." _Lester bowed as Vince, Zero and Junior began applauding. He turned back to Bobby, not quite finished making his point.

"Please! What is up with 'new old fashioned way'? I mean, it's either new or it's old. And who the fuck ever dances around merrily? That's some dumb shit right there." Looking for reinforcements, Lester honed in on Zero who was fighting off a smile and pretending to read the computer screen in front of him.

"Zero, dude, tell this dumb-ass how stupid that song is."

Zero shook his head. "Leave me out of this, man."

"I've seen your lame ass dancing merrily after a little too much Christmas cheer, Les."

"Now, see, Bobby, why'd you have to go there? This here was a friendly conversation, and you had to go and get all ignorant."

"I'm just saying. Right, Cal?" Bobby and Lester stared at each other before turning toward Cal. Cal refused to look at them, but he held up his hand and shook his head without saying a word.

Lester got up and walked over, glaring down at Bobby, just as Ranger walked in. Ranger took one look, sized up the situation, and turned to Tank. "Those two going at it again?"

"Yep, every Christmas. Santos is more prepared this time. He must have Googled song lyrics. He's doing better this year." At the sound of Ranger's voice, both men in question turned.

"Hey, boss, what's the best Christmas song ever?" At Bobby's question, Ranger turned to both men with cool eyes and a blank face. He waited until they started to squirm before answering.

"Personally, I like the Twelve Days of Christmas. That's where I get to fire a different employee every day for twelve straight days, as a present to myself, and not feel guilty about it." When the rest of the men in the office started hooting and hollering, Lester laughed and went back to sit behind his desk.

Ranger turned to walk to his office, and Bobby smirked at his back. "Fine, but I get the nine ladies dancing."

Vince slid out of his cubby into the aisle. "I call eight maids a milking, 'cause I've got something they can milk."

"Shit, Man, the song doesn't include a magnifying glass and tweezers. Those damn maids are going to be confused."

"Fuck you, Lester."

Hector strolled through into the comm area shaking his head as everyone except Vince continued laughing. Vince was frowning at Lester. "Well, Santos, I guess that leaves you Ten Lords-a-leaping."

"Mine." Hector contradicted. He walked by, dropped a file in the out box and looked at Vince before strolling back out.

Bobby looked at Lester, "Don't worry, you can still have Eleven Pipers piping and Twelve Drummers drumming."

The door opened and Hector popped his head back in. "No, he can't. They're mine, too." Laughter erupted.

"Slut!" Junior yelled at Hector as the door shut behind him once again.

Bobby swiveled in his chair and looked over at the clock on the wall. Shit, he was running out of arguments, and they still had thirty minutes to go before end of shift. He was bored, bored, bored.

"Hey, Cal, what's the best Christmas song ever?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake." Cal looked over at Bobby and gave him a disgusted look.

"Actually, I don't think that qualifies as a Christmas song. Now, there is O' Holy Night."

"Dumb-asses." Cal got up and walked out, not willing to get caught up in the stupidity.

"I know! I've got it! Fe—" Lester began.

"DON'T YOU DARE!!!" Bobby's shout had Hal jumping in his seat.

"Fel—"

"LESTER, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!"

"That is the dumbest song ever. I HATE that fucking song. That song gets in your head, and it won't go away. I swear it's like some subliminal shit. Next thing you know you're singing some fucking words you don't even know what the fuck they mean, and so you end up singing the same two fucking words over and over and over in your head all fucking day. And do you know what? When I go to bed, I still hear that fucking song. Lester, I swear to Sweet Little Baby Jesus, if that song gets stuck in my head tonight, I'm going to crawl out of bed, drag you into the gym and kick your sorry ass."

"Yeah, right. I'll be roasting your chestnuts over an open fire."

"Yeah? Well, I'll be jingling your bells and laughing all the way."

"You are such a freaking dork."

Lester grinned at Bobby before motioning across the room. "Tank, what's your favorite Christmas song?"

"Silent Night. Now, all of you shut the fuck up so I can have one!"

"Grinch!" Bobby and Lester muttered at the same time. "HEY!!"

Lester's face went bright. "That is the best friggin' Christmas song ever, man!"

"Oh, yeah. Shit, dude, I can't believe we forgot that one!" Both men started singing, and within seconds the whole 5th floor of RangerMan LLC had joined in, with the exception of Hal and Tank.

"_You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch..." _Tank finally gave up and put his head in his hands. A minute later, the voices got louder, and he slid his fingers down to plug his ears.

"_You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty wasty skunk. You're heart is full of unwashed socks; your soul is full of gunk, . The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote…"_The men were shouting now. Bobby and Lester were standing with Vince. Grinning at each other, they walked over to stand behind Tank…

"_STINK, STANK, STUNK!"_ Finishing with a flourish, the three men leaned against each other laughing.

Tank spun around in his chair, pulled his gun out of the holster on his hip, and pointed it at them. "GET OUT!!!"

Bobby and Lester were laughing so hard they stumbled down the hall.

Lester slung his arm around Bobby's shoulders in a show of camaraderie. "Man, I'm sorry for calling you a dumb-ass."

"No problem, buddy. Sorry for calling you a stupid fucker with no taste."

Lester pulled his arm back. "Hey, you didn't call me that."

Bobby laughed. "No, but I thought it."

As the two men opened the door to the stairwell, Hal finally lifted his head and looked at them. When the door had clicked quietly behind them he let himself grin.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night." He shook his head. "Dumb-asses."

**Christmas Night – Back at RangeMan**

"You know, the only reason you like that song is because it's in that Christmas Story movie you make us watch every year." Lester looked over at Bobby's comment. The guy just couldn't let it go.

"That movie is a classic."

"You only like it because that dumb-ass white boy sticks his stupid tongue on the damn pole and gets stuck."

"Hell, yeah, that's the best part."

"Tell you what, my man, ain't no black boy ever going to do no dumb shit like that." When Lester just laughed, refusing to rise to the bait, Bobby shook his head. "You know that wouldn't really happen, right?"

"Sure it would."

"No, it wouldn't. Damn, man, you believe everything you see on t.v."

"How would you know? Besides, I had a friend in school. He says his brother and his friends tried it, and sure enough, this one guy got his tongue stuck on the pole."

"Santos, you are full of shit. You're just making that up."

"All right, Mr. Big Shot. Let's go. I dare you." Bobby blinked. "Yeah, that's what I thought. All talk and no action."

"It isn't even cold enough outside to try it."

"Bullshit. The weatherman said it was down to 27 degrees out there." Lester said, calling his bluff.

Hal took his attention away from the television long enough to mutter, "The freezing point is 32 degrees."

"Yeah, no shit, Einstein." Bobby was sure he was right, but he didn't want to be the one stupid enough to test the theory. He looked over at Hal before exchanging a maniacal grin with Lester.

Hal, Bobby, Lester, Zero and Vince stood around the flagpole outside of the building on Haywood.

"I'm not gonna do it." Hal remained stubbornly adamant.

"Come on, Hal. We dared you. Hell, we triple-dog-dared you." Lester was shifting from one foot to another, partly from the cold and partly from excitement.

"I don't care. I'm not doing it. No way. We're not kids."

Lester thought about that for a minute. "You're right. We need to up the stakes. And Bobby's the one that said it wouldn't work. Okkaaaayy. Bobby, I dare you to put your dick on there."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Lester rolled his eyes and looked at Vince. "I told you he's a puss."

"I am not a puss. And I'm not sticking my dick on that pole just to prove you wrong." Bobby's voice carried a trace of panic.

"Hey, you're the one that said it wouldn't work. If you're too chicken to prove yourself right, then you…are… a…puss." Bobby shut his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest. Lester snorted. _"It will not work. Santos, you are full of shit. You believe everything you see on t.v."_ Lester stared Bobby down. "Sound familiar?"

"Fuck. Fine." In disgust, Bobby reached down and unzipped his pants. Two minutes later they were all staring at his dick.

"Ha!" Bobby said, wagging his manhood around. "I told you it wouldn't work. So there! Take that, Santos."

"I think it has to be wet."

"WHAT?!"

Hal scratched his head and shuffled his feet. "Maybe it has to be wet. You know? Like your tongue? I think it sticks because it's wet." All five men looked down.

Finally Bobby looked up at Lester's face. "Well?"

"Well what?" Lester's voice squeaked a little, and Bobby used his free hand to motion toward his crotch.

Lester mimicked the gesture. "What is that?" He made the gesture again. "Just what the fuck does that mean?"

"Hal thinks it needs to be wet."

"Fuck you, Bobby. I ain't – I'm not – Fuck you."

"Where's Hector when you need him?" Vince laughed.

"Well, I sure as hell can't lick it myself. If I could, I'd never leave my room."

"Well, I ain't gonna lick it." Lester said.

"I ain't going to lick it." Vince took a step back.

"Not me." Hal looked like he was ready to run for it.

"No fucking way." Zero put his hand on the gun at his side.

Hal's face lit up with an idea. "Maybe, um, someone could spit on it."

Lester slapped Hal on the back. "There you go, Bobby! Spit on it."

"Now how the hell am I supposed to –"

"Spit on your hand, and –" Vince gave up. He bent over and put his hands on his legs. He was laughing so hard his knees were weak.

Bobby took a step forward and turned toward Vince's lowered head. "Here, while you're down there, spit." Vince straightened and stepped back so quickly he tripped over the curb.

"Stay the hell away from me, Brown."

"Well, now what are we going to do? YEEOWWW!!" Bobby sucked in breath and yowled. "Whattamudderfuck?! Holy shit! Son of a bitch!" Filth came spewing from his mouth in a rapid, steady stream. He ran in circles, hands crossed over his crotch.

Meanwhile three sets of eyes turned to Hal.

"Wellll, snowballs are wet. I was only trying to help. After all, Lester wasn't doing anything." Now all eyes turned to Lester.

"I AM NOT going to lick Bobby's dick, Hal. I AM NOT going to spit on it either."

Bobby had stopped jumping around, but his breathing was shallow and his expression was pained as he walked back over to the rest of the men. "You won't have to. Dead Eye Hal there has good aim. It's wet. Now stand aside, 'cause I'm freezing my stuff off here. I'm about to prove to all you morons how fucking stupid Santos is and that you can't believe everything you see on t.v."

Oscillating lights filled the neighborhood. The pretty red lights from the fire truck twinkled over the scene like the brightest of Christmas bulbs, the flickers of camera flashes a cheerful backdrop.

Tank walked over to Ranger. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the sounds of laughter and jeers. "You know, a glass of warm water would have worked."

Expression bland, Ranger continued looking straight ahead. "I know."

"This is going to be on the front page of the Trenton Times tomorrow."

"I know."

"It's really too bad that Hal didn't dry his hands off after throwing that snowball. Especially since he was the only one nice enough to try to help Bobby get hisself loose."

"I know." Ranger's eyes crinkled at the corners as he watched Stephanie and Lula aim their camera phones at a humiliated Bobby and Hal who were still stuck to the flagpole.

"You're a mean bastard, Boss." Tank watched Ranger's mouth tip up into a slight smile. His gaze left Ranger's face to travel from the scene in front of them up to the window of Ranger's 7th floor apartment. "Don't suppose you know who called 911 before they could get themselves out of this mess on their own?"

Ranger's face lit up with a full 200-watt smile. "Oh, yes, I know." He started walking toward the blue-eyed brunette who was currently doubled over in laughter.

Tank stood where he was as paramedics and firefighters worked to move the crowd back and away from the flagpole. He looked at Bobby and Hal and shook his head. "Dumb-asses."

**~ the end ~**


	2. Chapter 2

A RangeMan Christmas

Grandma Mazur Lends a Hand

By

**RangerCraving**

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I just borrowed them for some Christmas cheer._

A/N: Thank you, Stayce, for your encouragement, your editing, and your wonderfully twisted sense of humor. You're the best, Babe! Thank you Kashy for encouraging me to continue writing and for making me feel so at home at BCRUS. Thank you, Lisa(Burggirl) and Kate, for your friendship and support. Thank all of you who took time to read and review A RangeMan Christmas.

_And a special thank you to Steph for requesting and inspiring this chapter!_

Warning: Keep in mind the characters in this short are men and a spunky, little old woman. Therefore, there is somewhat…hmmm…interesting behavior ahead!

**Christmas night at RangeMan**

Ranger didn't bother telling anyone that he'd been laughing so hard before he'd dialed 911 that he had to lean against the wall and then sit down on the couch. He wasn't a stupid man. He knew that others saw him as stiff and unyielding, almost without humor. His training had taught him control. His life experiences had taught him to keep his emotions hidden, so as not to be used against him. But when one of your men got his penis frozen to a flagpole, training and experience went out the window.

Tank suspected that he'd called 911. Tank was one of the few people that knew he had the kind of sense of humor that hid under the surface. Tank _didn't_ know that he'd placed another call first.

Ranger's eyes stayed on the blue-eyed brunette as he approached her. Her laughter rang louder and clearer than any of the others standing around outside of his company RangeMan LLC. Her laughter alone would have had him smiling even if Bobby and Hal's predicament hadn't beaten her to it. He crossed the parking lot and came up behind her. She was doubled over, and he reached out to put his hand on her back. Immediately Stephanie turned and fell against him, giggles making her weak enough that she melted against his body, allowing him to take her weight and hold her up.

He knew it was a rotten thing to do. Usually he preferred for him, his company, and his employees to fly under the radar, but the feel of Stephanie's body shaking with hysteria told him he'd made the right choice. Even if it was a spontaneous decision, and he normally avoided those like the plague. Besides, he told himself, the RangeMen of RangeMan LLC had spent many hours laughing at Stephanie's expense. It seemed only right that the tables occasionally be turned.

"Oh, God, Ranger, this is the best Christmas present ever!" He attempted to keep his body from responding when she wrapped her arms around him. She finally lifted her head, and there were tears of mirth sparkling in her beautiful blue eyes. It took every ounce of control for him to stop himself from covering her mouth with his in an attempt to taste her happiness.

"I'm going to owe you for this for the rest of my life." Ranger lifted a brow. When she would have moved back, he tightened his arms around her and shifted against her.

"I like that part." Ranger looked up as a shiny, black Mercedes slid to the curb, and smiled a 200-watt smile. He slid his warm fingers into the denim of her front pocket. Stephanie froze as his fingers stroked her through the material before pulling out her cell phone and handing it to her.

"You're going to need this, Babe."

"W-W-Why?"

"The show's not over yet. You might want to think about how much you're willing to owe me." He gently turned her in the direction of the Mercedes. They both watched as Cal angled out of the driver's seat and walked around to open the passenger door. Stephanie nearly choked on a gasping laugh as she saw her grandmother emerge.

She turned and beamed up at him. "Omigod, Ranger, Bobby's going to kill you!"

Ranger didn't look overly concerned. Right at that moment, with her eyes smiling into his, he would have run down Stark Street in a pair of running shorts without a weapon. "Others have tried, Babe."

Any response she would have had was forgotten as Grandma Mazur came hustling up next to them. "Esther Kenton called me. She heard about it from her granddaughter. She works as a dispatcher for 911. I was trying to get your dad to bring me when this nice young man came walking up to the door and offered me a ride. Did I miss anything?"

"Oh, no, mom knows about this?"

Grandma Mazur snorted out a laugh. "By now the whole Burg knows." Stephanie watched her grandmother stretch up on her tippy-toes and crane her neck. "How come we're way back here? I can't see nothin'."

"The police made us move back so the E.M.T.'s could work on them."

"Huh, that don't seem right." Grandma Mazur looked around. She spotted a man and a woman as they stepped out of the back of a rescue squad, and turned to Stephanie. "Hang on! I've got an idea."

Stephanie cringed and watched her grandmother hurry over to the young woman walking toward Bobby and Hal. Uh-oh. She started to step forward but was brought up short by Ranger's warm hand on the back of her neck.

Ranger leaned down until his mouth was against her ear. "Wait. I have a feeling this is going to be good, Babe." He moved the two of them closer so they could hear the conversation taking place in front of them.

Grandma Mazur was standing in front of the female E.M.T. "Are you a doctor? A nurse?"

"I'm an Emergency Medical Technician," the woman responded.

"Wow! Ain't that somethin'. I bet you see all kinds of interesting things. I always wanted to be an emergency medical technician."

"That's nice." The young woman, thinking escape, started to walk away. She didn't know Grandma Mazur.

"I don't suppose I could walk up there with you." Before the woman could politely brush her off Grandma Mazur gave her an innocent look. "Why, will you look at that, I plum forgot my manners. What's your name, young lady?"

"It's Melissa, ma'am, and I really don't think –"

"Oh, you don't have to call me ma'am. It's Edna."

"Edna, it's really not a good idea –"

"I always wanted to see a hero at work. That's what you are, you know? It takes a real hero to save people like you do."

"Oh, well, I'm not really."

"Yes, you are. And so nice. Why just look at you taking time to talk to a bothersome old woman like me. I bet you got a granny just like me. Stephanie, that's my granddaughter," Grandma Mazur pointed. "She won't let me go with her to work. _She _thinks because I'm in my golden years I'm a nuisance. I bet she'd put me in a home if she could, but my dear dear daughter Ellen won't let her." Grandma Mazur hung her head. Her shoulders lifted and fell in a loud sigh as the young E.M.T. looked over to give Stephanie a hot Burg glare. "Don't know what I'll do if Ellen moves on to the great Burg in the sky before I do, Melissa. I swear it's a misery being a burden on the young people of this world." With one last fuming glance in Stephanie's direction, the young woman put her arm around Grandma Mazur's shoulders.

"You're not a nuisance at all. Of course you can come with me." Stephanie stood in shock as her grandmother turned her head and smiled at her and Ranger, giving them a cheerful thumbs-up before moving past the police officers separating the gawking crowd from the flagpole.

Grandma Mazur walked up and looked from a horrified Bobby to an equally horrified Hal. "How come his hand's stuck next to your ding-a-ling? Are you two homosexuals? Aren't you both a pip? I used to think only homosexuals could have anal sex, but my granddaughter Stephanie says anyone with an anus can do it. I've got an anus. A good one too. It works and everything. Not everything does when you get to be my age.

"Oh, God," both men groaned.

She turned her attention to Bobby. "I always heard you black men had big ding-a-lings. That don't look so big to me."

Bobby gritted his teeth. "When it's cold out, a man's –" He stumbled to an embarrassed halt.

"Ding-a-ling?" Grandma Mazur asked helpfully.

"_**Pride and joy**_ain't at its best."

Grandma Mazur reached a hand out and patted Bobby's arm. "That's okay. You're a nice looking boy. It's not your fault God made you a little stumpy down there."

"Oh, God, just strike me dead."

Grandma Mazur turned and looked at Melissa again. "How come you got your hand on his ding -- _pride and joy_?"

Melissa fought to hide a smile. "We're going to use a cup of warm water. We're going to pour it on his penis and the pole and then I'm going to gently pull to get it to let loose."

"Won't that warm water make him pee? I always heard warm water makes you pee your pants."

Melissa took a deep breath before answering. "That's when you stick someone's fingers in a cup of warm water."

"Huh, how about that. Well, he should be safe, 'cause that sure ain't no finger."

Melissa handed the cup of water to Bobby to hold. Not wanting to get her mittens wet, she took them off and shoved them into the pockets of her jacket. When she was done she took the cup back and began to pour with one hand as she took Bobby's penis gently into the other, slowly rubbing the warm water over him.

Grandma Mazur sucked in a breath. "Holy Mother of God! Stand back. It's growing!" Melissa's shoulders were shaking in silent laughter. The older woman didn't notice. Her eyes were wide and locked on the sight in front of her. "Would you look at that? Oops, I think we're gonna need a bigger cup."

Grandma Mazur was now bent over, her nose inches from Melissa's hand. "Here, maybe you should pour, and I'll help work this nice young man's ding-a-ling loose."

Bobby was leaning back, a look of pure torture on his face. "Someone get her away from me."

"Now that ain't nice. It's not like I'm an old pervert or anything. I just wanna help." Grandma Mazur forgot herself. She pushed the E.M.T.'s hand away and grabbed a hold of Bobby's _pride and joy_. A strangled sound came from Bobby as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "Well, lookie there, my hands must be really cold, 'cause there it goes. It's shrinking again."

"The hell with this. I'll do it myself." Bobby took a deep breath and yanked. "YEEOWWW!! Whattamudderfuck?! Holy shit! Son of a bitch!" He ran in circles, hands crossed over his crotch.

As the gathered crowd watched in fascination, Grandma Mazur was the only one not laughing. She walked over to Bobby, turning in circles, following his frantic movements around the front lawn. "Bet that hurt. Hey, maybe one of us ought to hold an icepack on it for you."

Bobby came to a sudden stop. "Get away from me you crazy, old broad." He stumbled back from the old woman in front of him, quickly stuffing himself back into his pants and pulling up the zipper.

Grandma Mazur put her hands on her bony hips and shook her head in sympathy. "Oh, my. Is the tip supposed to be hanging off like that? Sure bet that falls off by morning. What a shame. Must hurt something fierce."

Looking over at Melissa her expression was the picture of innocence and concern. "Oh, well, that's okay. You can sew it back on, right?"

"What?!" Bobby's girly shriek echoed in the night between hoots of laughter. His fingers fumbled as he yanked his pants back down and gingerly pulled out his penis. Anger and disbelief crossed his face as he glared at Grandma Mazur. "It **is not** falling off!"

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that, but you made me mad when you called me a broad."

"Babe, I think we better rescue your granny. Bobby's going to shoot her." Ranger could barely get the words out.

Stephanie skirted the officers standing between her and the flagpole. It wasn't hard to do. They were all in various positions of hysteria; some were bent at the waist, hands on knees, some were leaning against each other, and some were actually sitting on the ground. All of them were howling with laughter. When she reached her grandmother's side she took her arm and turned her while Ranger stepped between them and Bobby.

"Hey! What about me?" Everyone turned to look at Hal. He was still stuck to the pole. Seems his hand wasn't as important as Bobby's penis. Minutes later the male E.M.T. walked over with another warm cup of water and tipped the cup over Hal's hand. They all watched as the water flowed across his palm and ran in a stream between the back of his fingers and the cold pole.

Hal took a breath and let out a low, rumbling groan as his hand came loose from the pole. "Thank you." Hal's eyes were on the E.M.T. standing in front of him, but everyone else was staring at the wet stain spreading down the front of his pants.

In the shocked silence only one voice was heard. Grandma Mazur looked over at Melissa, the Emergency Medical Technician, "Well, whattaya know, looks like you were right about the fingers in the warm water thing."

Ranger's laughter rang as loud and clear as everyone else's at the scene on Haywood Street. His arms were once again wrapped around Stephanie as she dissolved into fits of giggles. When he was finally able to catch his breath he leaned his head down once again and placed a kiss against the side of her neck before whispering, "What was that about you owing me for life, Babe?"

_**~rangercraving~**_


End file.
